Justin Bieber Apologizes to the Wrong Person

Posted on July 22, 2013


You know, after writing about Justin Bieber’s behavior “slipping,” I told myself I wasn’t going to write about him anymore, or at least, not anytime soon.  But I can’t let this one slide.  In case you haven’t heard, the latest Bieber misbehavior to hit the media is a months-old incident in which he and his ill-mannered companions were departing a NYC restaurant through the kitchen (I guess this is what celebutards do when they want to avoid paparazzi).  On the way out, Bieber – while being filmed by one of his “friends” – stopped to urinate into a mop bucket in the kitchen.  Having given his “friends” a good laugh, he then departs, but not without first grabbing a spray bottle and giving a photo of former President Bill Clinton a good squirt, along with the exclamation, “Fuck Bill Clinton!”

Sigh.  Yet another very crass detail to flesh out a public image that is only going downhill.  I guess money never did buy class, did it?

If you are a Belieber, or maybe just a kind and tolerant soul, you might say – oh, pooh, this incident happened back in February, it’s old news.  So here’s an old worn-out tune to go along with that old news:  on 10 July, the day the pee-in-the-kitchen story broke, Bieber had this to say on Twitter:


Yep, it’s a refrain we’ve gotten pretty familiar with:  misbehavior, followed by some variation of “I’m young and make mistakes,” followed by “can’t let it get me down!” with a little cynical God-love thrown in to disarm the haters.  On to the next verse!  What will it be this time?  There’s just so much to choose from, in the last few months alone.

So, news flash:  that refrain is not an apology, it’s not sincere, and it’s getting really tiresome.  Bieber wasn’t sorry about the incident until the public became aware of it.  And then – here comes the new part  – what does he do?  He cozies up to the former President to apologize to him, basically tries to buy his way out of his embarrassment by offering to “help out” (whatever that means) with the Clinton Global Initiative, and then turns this into some nice positive publicity for himself:


And Clinton, despite being probably the slickest politician of his era, let Bieber get away with it.  Clinton’s camp has been silent, but supposedly, Clinton accepted the apology and told Bieber something like, “If that’s the worst thing you’ve ever done, all is well,” “focus on the good you can do,” and “watch your friends.”  Oh, Bill, Bill, Bill.  No.  Know what you should have told Bieber?  Here’s Lila’s recommendation:

“Don’t waste your time apologizing to me.  I’m a politician, for God’s sake, do you have any idea how many times I’ve been told to fuck off?  Go apologize instead to the poor low-income employee who had to clean up your piss.  And while you’re at it, apologize to the rest of the restaurant staff and the diners.  Maybe they don’t like the food prep area being used as a damned latrine.”  And if you could give him a good smack upside the head, throw that in for a little friendly emphasis.

Yeah, I know.  Maybe PR isn’t my thing.  But on that score, I much prefer celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain’s reaction:


If you are the parent of a Belieber, now would be a good time to engage your tween in a Teachable Moment.  Again, Lila’s recommendation?  Don’t spend any more of your hard-earned cash to support this rude, defiant, entitled ignorance.

Lila’s advice to Bieber:  sell your house and move away from your little “friends,” take a break out of the public eye, and come back with a new album when you’re ready to behave like a responsible adult.