Octomom: What Employment Options Does She Have?

Posted on June 7, 2012

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Here’s something you don’t see every day: a serious-minded article in Forbes about the Octomom’s financial decisions and future earning potential.  Octomom recently turned to filming a porn movie with Wicked Pictures to bring in some cash, and her latest moneymaking effort was a foray into the world of stripping.  She has also made money with bikini photo shoots and a topless magazine spread.  Why can’t Octomom seem to find a decent job which does not involve disrobing?

Author Meghan Casserly points out the obvious bind:  child care costs average $138 per week according to the national census, but with 14 children, that figure would run to well over $1000 per week.  Thus, flexible hours would be a requirement in any job for a mother with 14 young children at home.  But when Casserly runs down the typical salaries for a few commonplace jobs with flexible hours, we see that they pay well under $30,000 per year… which isn’t even enough to cover what she owes her landlord in back rent.  I’m not even going to try to dissect her annual income vs. expenses, but last year she told Dr. Drew that her monthly expenses were $12,000, and told Ann Curry they were $15,000.  Whatever.  It’s big.  So one would think she needs around $180,000 per year just to make ends meet, much less pay off her astronomical debts.  Even if she is pulling in $4000 per month in welfare, she still would need a whopping $132,000 in income to cover the remainder of her expenses.  I cannot think of any employers out there shelling out that kind of money for an employee who can’t be depended on to put in some God-awful hours drudging away in the office.

It’s the oldest story in the world.  Sex sells, and that’s what many women turn to when they have no other realistic options.  Whether it’s prostitution, porn, stripping, or lap dances.  “Judgments of propriety aside, no one can debate the fact that earning in five nights what she might otherwise earn in six months isn’t a good financial choice for her family,” Casserly writes.  So, stripping it is, for now.

Alas, this does not bode well for Octomom’s financial future, for two reasons.  The first issue the Octomom faces is the clock.  When you make your living hawking sex, it pays infinitely better to be young and attractive, and no one stays young and attractive forever.  Ah, but as her kids grow up and eventually need less intensive supervision (okay, um… fourteen teenagers… this point can be debated), couldn’t she shift to an actual, regular, business-hours job?  That may be difficult, and brings us to the second point:  when women establish a history as a porn actress, stripper, and topless model, this absolutely screams to future employers that the woman had no other options at the time, and that is a red flag in hiring.  Why were there no other options?  Lack of education, a criminal record, poor judgment?  Is this someone we want to risk bringing onto our staff?  If the issue has been rectified, how can we be sure?  And for certain professions, especially those involving kids, employers and clientele alike really, really prefer not to have former strippers or porn stars filling the ranks.  Opening one door often closes others, and this certainly applies to Octomom’s recent choices.

Granted, most of us don’t make the insane choices she did to create this untenable position, but it is reality now.  And rack my brain as I might, honestly – I am not coming up with any great moneymaking ideas.  What would you do, if somehow you ended up a single parent of 14 kids under the age of 12?

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